Sunday, May 9, 2010

Lovely Sunday/Monday For Mothers Day ♥

So, I have been planning this tattoo for a little while now. It's got a TON of meaning behind it and will always be super special to me. Lucky me, the spot I chose to put it is on my side/hip and is one of the most painful spots. I'm not even gonna lie, it hurt like hell. At one point I thought to myself "if I stop now I wonder how bad it will look" LOL The poor little papertowel I squeezed for 40 minutes straight was my savior.
I was breathless for a few hours after. (geezus, I sound like a weinie!)

In early 2000 my grandma was surprisingly struck with Colon Cancer. It was found randomly and it was too late to properly treat her to successfully recover. It was right around that time when we still "didn't get it" on what the hell Cancer REALLY does to you. What I do know is that she died a very tragic painful death, something I think about almost everyday, it still haunts me after 10 years. She was the sweetest, gentlest person I have ever known. She passed on
Aug 12, 2000.

In October 2007 it was discovered that my mom had the same Cancer. They express it was extremely important that they operate on her that next week. Luckily in those 7 years they had learned a little more about this evil monster. They operated on my mom that next week and everything had gone well. She had a little over a month to recover and her Chemo treatments begun. December 12, 2007 my nephew was born and was the same day of my mom's first Chemo session. The treatments were to last 6 months. It felt like a lifetime away... She had stacked treatments per week to hit it extra hard to make sure it killed the evil bastard. She went on Wednesdays for 6 hours receiving treatment, Thursdays were about 2 1/2 hours and Fridays were less then 30 minutes. I may have been on the inside of this story but I was still on the outside of how this could have possibly felt happening to her. I'm sparing you a bunch of details that weren't very sunny... like side effects and things, but the treatment basically kills you so it can save your life. On May 16, 2008, my birthday, she had her LAST Chemo treatment. It could not have been a better gift to me, and most importantly to her as well.
I'm thankful for the extra special SCAN's she got and still gets from UCLA. It's essentially a clear microscope into her body that continues to give her a green light of health to this day so we can rest a little better. My mom is one of the most strongest, amazing people I know, along with all the other Cancer survivors out there.
Cancer is an evil, evil monster, and Colon Cancer is scary. It's in the one place that men and women aren't really too excited about.
The only problem with everything you can learn about it is that there is a bunch of controversy about whether it's hereditary and if it's something you actually do in your daily life that causes it. So, there's still a ton more learning to be had...

I figure, my mom was so strong to endure all those Chemo treatments the least I could do was go thru 40 minutes of pain in her honor.

The N is for my grandma Norma and the K is for my mom Karen, the N holds the date that my grandma passed, 8.12.2000 and the K holds the date that my mom survived it 5.16.2008. The humming bird is something my grandma loved and is now cherished by my mom.

I love you mom ♥


  1. Thanks for sharing your story Renee. Beautiful memorial and are beautiful!

  2. I had to stop halfway thru cuz I couldn't see thru the tears. Such a beautiful tribute to both your mom and grandma. Love you!!

  3. Renee, you are incredible! Mom/Norma would have been over the moon. . . as I'm sure my Sister was. Mom was diagnosed on July 17 and left us just a scant three weeks later. The most difficult and heartbreaking time in our lives. How helpless we were as we faced our Mom/Grandma suffering with one of the most deadly diseases. It is detectable early-on; so please, everyone, just get your damn colonoscopy. I too, miss her and talk to her everyday. Indeed, that ten years has passed is unbelievable. Karen, you are so blessed with such a stunningly beautiful daughter. Take care of yourself. Your everlasting tribute, Renee, is overwhelmingly breathtaking! I love you madly always and forever. . . Auntie Janet

  4. Wow, Renee..this is such a powerful blog. What a wonderful remembrance to do in honor of your mom and in memory of your grandma. Its beautiful.

  5. Love the hummingbird - did you know that they can be a symbol or renewal and rebirth - fitting for both your mom and your grandma. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story - I think as women we are so inundated with breast cancer we forget that there are killers out there that we know so little about.